This blog reminded me that writing is hard. As a writer, there are tough days when I have to search for words. If they do come they’re not cohesive. It’s gross, like vomiting alphabet soup on paper. Then there are days when the words pour out of me and read like a final draft. It’s perfect.
One of the challenges of starting a new book is finding the story’s voice. Grasping that voice makes it easier. I have my own style when writing books, but this blog is uniquely mine. I’m not writing through a character or about a character. There’s less editing, less thinking about the reader and less time worrying about finding the perfect way to write something. And when the material changes constantly, like this blog, it can be hard to latch onto a consistent voice.
It should be easy, given this blog is mine. But before I can put my thoughts down and share them, they’re often filtered through my anxiety. I’m uncomfortable with myself. I’m so self-conscious about every aspect of my presentation, I can’t let my guard down around the people I love most. I have problems talking to my wife. I spend so much energy worrying what people think of me, I’m exhausted when I’m alone.
Hopefully this blog will help me release that anxiety and create a consistent voice. The voice I hear in my head every day. My voice.
This post may not be substantial, but it’s cathartic for me, as most of them are. Knowing people are reading my writing makes me anxious, but it also makes it easier to share the next time.