Sir Topham Hatt’s Funeral

Sir Topham Hatt

Procession of long black cars

like an evil Thomas the Tank

So many ways to die and

This is how death engineered your fate

The Fat Controller standing by your tombstone

Wearing a top hat

Bible Translation: Genesis, Chapter 34

Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah, was raped by the local prince, Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite. Then he fell in love with her and tried to win her affection with tender words. He told his father, “Get me this young girl. I want to marry her.”

Jacob heard what had happened, but his sons were in the fields so he waited to confront Shechem. Meanwhile, Hamor came to discuss the matter with Jacob. His sons had come in from the fields and were pissed that their sister had been raped.


Hamor said, “My son is truly in love with your daughter. Let them marry. In fact, let’s arrange other marriages. Your daughters for our sons, and our daughters for your sons. And you may live among us.”


Then Shechem spoke. “Please be kind and let me marry her. I will pay any gift. Just give me her as my wife.”


Jacob’s sons responded deceitfully. “Our sister can’t marry an uncircumcised man! It would be a disgrace. Have all your men snip their tips and we’ll accept the marriages.”


Hamor and Shechem accepted the terms and went to present the proposal to the town leaders.
The leaders agreed and every man in town was circumcised.

But three days later, wounds still sore, two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, killed every man in town, including Hamor and Shechem. They also rescued Dinah from Shechem’s house, where she’d been this entire time. The rest of his sons plundered the town and took the children and women as captives.


Afterward Jacob told Simeon and Levi, “You have ruined me! You have made me stink! Everyone will join forces to destroy us and wipe out my household.”
“But why should we let him treat our sister like a prostitute?” they asked angrily.

Bible Translation: Genesis, Chapter 33

Boy reading Bible

Jacob saw Esau coming with his 400 men. So he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and his two servant wives. He put the servant wives first, then Leah, then Rachel. Then Jacob went ahead. As he approached his brother, he bowed seven times. Esau ran to hug him and kissed him. They both wept.


Esau asked who the people were with him.
“These are my children.” The wives and children came before Esau and bowed before him.
“And what were all the flocks and herds I met as I came?”
“They are a gift, my lord, to ensure your friendship.”
“I have plenty. Keep what you have for yourself.”
But Jacob insisted. “What a relief it is to see your friendly smile. It’s like seeing the face of God!”

And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted the gifts.
“Well, let’s get going. I’ll lead the way.”
But Jacob replied, “Some of my children are very young, and the flocks and herds have young, too. If they are driven too hard, the animals could die. Please go ahead of your servant. We will follow at a pace that is comfortable for the livestock and children. I will meet you at Seir.”
“All right. But at least let me assign some of my men to guide and protect you.”
“That’s not necessary. It’s enough that you’ve received me warmly, my lord!”
So Esau started back to Seir that same day. But Jacob went to Succoth, where he built a house and shelter for his livestock.
Later he arrived in Shechem, in Canann, where he set up camp outside town. He bought land from the family of Hamor, the father of Shechem, for 100 pieces of silver. There he built an altar.

Bible Translation: Genesis, Chapter 32

x-ray of dislocated hip

Angels of God met Jacob on his way home.

Then Jacob sent messengers ahead to his brother Esau. They delivered this message: “Humble greetings from your servant Jacob. I have been living with Uncle Laban, and now I own a bunch of animals and people. I have sent these messengers to inform my lore of my coming, hoping that you will be friendly to me.”
The messengers returned and told Jacob that Esau was already on his way to meet him with an army of 400 men. This news terrified Jacob. He divided his household into two groups. “If Esau attacks one group, perhaps the other can escape.”
Then Jacob prayed for safety.
He stayed where he was for the night, then he selected gifts for Esau. 200 female goats, 20 male goats, 20 ewes, 20 rams, 30 female camels with their babies, 40 cows, 10 bulls, 20 female donkeys and 10 male donkeys. He sent each herd with a servant to meet Esau.
“I will try to appease him with gifts. When I finally see him, perhaps he will be friendly.

Overnight, Jacob took his two wives, two servant wives (new show idea for TLC) and eleven sons and crossed the Jabbok River, along with his possessions.
But Jacob stayed behind and a man came to wrestle with him until dawn. When the man saw he wouldn’t beat Jacob, he touched Jacob’s hip and dislocated it. Then the man said “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!”
“I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
“Your name will no longer be Jacob. From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won.”
The man wouldn’t tell Jacob his name, but he did bless him.
Jacob named the place Peniel, meaning “face of God.” “I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been spared,” he said. Jacob limped away with his dislocated hip as the sun rose over Peniel. (Even today the people of Israel don’t eat the tendon near the hip socket because of that wrestling match.)

Nightmare

I had a nightmare

In that nightmare I was my old self

Mistakes I knew were coming I was helpless to stop

Same anger

Same sadness

Same pain, emotional and physical

Same nothingness