And he told Sarah, “I’m giving your brother (air quotes) 1,000 pieces of silver as compensation for any wrong I’ve done to you. Your reputation is cleared.” (Sounds a little like Stockholm Syndrome.)
“Where are your guests? Bring them out so we can have sex with them!”
Then God said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return and she will have a son.” (God didn’t get bent out of shape when Abraham laughed at the same idea.)
Remember, Abraham was 99 when he had his foreskin cut off.
Then Sarai said to Abram “This is all your fault! I let you sleep with my servant and now she treats me with contempt. God will show you who’s wrong - you or me.” The first episode of Jerry Springer was filmed. They already knew who the father was, so Maury was nixed.