Category: funny

Bible Translation: Genesis, Chapter 29

lukas graham

But that night, in the darkness, Laban took Leah, his older daughter (who was described as lacking a spark in her eyes) to Jacob, and he slept with her.

Bible Translation: Genesis, Chapter 28

dj khaled

“You must not marry any of these Canaanite women. Instead, go at once to Paddan-aram and marry one of your cousins. May God bless you and give you many inbred children. Nations, descendants, all that jazz. Oh, and lots of land.”

Bible Translation: Genesis, Chapter 27

So Jacob got the goats and Rebekah made goat mac n cheese.

Bible Translation: Genesis, Chapter 26

“Why are you here?” Isaac asked. “You obviously hate me.”

Bible Translation: Genesis, Chapter 24

She was beautiful, old enough to be married, and still a virgin. Check, check, check.