Nightmare Before Children

Girl walking down dark stairs.

Not what I had planned for today. Right as I headed out the door for my morning run, my niece wakes up and wants cereal. I fix her cereal. I get back from my run and she has pissed in the bathroom floor. For the second time in 24 hours. And she hasn’t told anyone. And she’s walking naked through the house. On the carpet.

Laura gets her in the bathtub and buys some carpet cleaner. I spray the floors with vinegar and water. Ask Laura how much I’d have to drink to kill me. Find out it won’t do the job. Wait 15 minutes. Pat the floors dry. Cover them with carpet cleaner. Wait 15 minutes. Vacuum the floors until the filter needs cleaning. Wait indefinitely.

My mornings follow a routine. As I write this I have yet to: post-run stretch, shower, eat a banana, drink iced coffee while reading.

We’ve talked about having children in the near future. Oh, the changes one day can bring.

4 Comments on “Nightmare Before Children

  1. Gavi will be grateful for the patience and understanding we have acquired from the beauty of it all.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. All children are different, it doesn’t mean yours , if you all choose to have children will pee on the floor. The good news is if you do choose to have children you’ve already had practice on how to handle the situation.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to Jessica Espiritu Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: